Being Insanely Good At Impressions
Think about how cool this would be. Would be the ultimate drunk party trick. You'd have the ability to amaze so many people. What made me think of this power was the thought of me walking around drunk and doing funny Michael Cera impressions.
I also saw this TikTok and it had me dying so I figured I'd share it.
Anyways, back to my Michael Cera impression. I assume it would be extremely similar to every scene he is in at the party in the movie "This Is The End" - minus the drugs and sexually assaulting Rihanna of course. If you haven't seen it, kindly go fuck yourself.
Obviously there are more reasons to want to be good at impressions. But I just can't seem to get Michael Cera out of my head at the moment.
Luck
We've seen this super power on display before in Deadpool 2, but I'm not here to discuss superhero movies. Even though they are very cool.
Some might say that I don't need luck at all (see the related blog about my gambling streak), but I would most likely gladly take this super power. Would help out a lot in the lottery. I'd probably have a lot of near death experiences which would make for some amazing stories.
What are some of the cons of being extremely lucky?
I think having this power would make gambling very boring. I wouldn't even need to watch any of my bets because I would just know they are going to hit no matter what. Would all of my favorite teams win their respective championships? That sounds great in theory, but after a year or two it would get boring and repetitive. I'd miss the thrill.
If there were a way to turn the luckiness off, this has potential to be the best super power of all time.
Human Vacuum (Eating Powers)
The name of this power is still a work in progress. I couldn't think of a good one. Nothing was rolling off the tongue.
A very popular public figure already has this power. And he is quite possibly the best athlete of all time, in any sport. Joey Chestnut is a 15-time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest champion, that is what you can accomplish with a power like this.
There are many other benefits besides being able to eat copious amounts of glizzies.
Those who are lactose intolerant won't have to worry anymore. Thats right, ladies. All of you that eat a bag of cheese and then drink 10 beers at night wouldn't have to worry about anymore stomach aches.
I also think you could beat any food allergy that comes your way. Any gluten sensitivity. My mom could really use this I think she is allergic to every possible edible thing.
Dunking
I'm aware this is not really a superpower. I just would really like to be able to dunk. I have trouble on 9 foot hoops, can barely graze the rim on 10 feet. Every time I try to grab rim my ego takes a hit. I just can't take it anymore.
No More Minor Inconveniences
This is probably the best out of the bunch. I had an issue getting a printer to print recently and it was the most frustrating thing in the world. Isn't it insane how often people have printer difficulties? If I had to bet I'd say 95% of the world has at least one memorable printer malfunction story. With this power those would be gone.
Another minor inconvenience that would be gone? Having to adjust to new showers. I think this one is probably just a me thing but it has been a constant issue in my life. I moved to a new floor in my house this year. Which means a whole new shower. A whole new handle/faucet situation. I know how to turn it on, but we are almost 3 months in and I still don't know which way is hot or cold. I just twist the handle and hope for the best.
Any car troubles would be gone. Your WI-FI would never cut out. Shoe would never come untied. You'd never be missing one of your socks. Phone would never die. You'd be living the most efficient life humanly possible.
Honorable Mentions:
Automatic refills, never having to pay for any subscriptions, the power to never blackout
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