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Writer's pictureBrog

Chuck E Cheese is a Gateway Drug for Little Children. And I'm Fucking Here For It.

Chuck E Cheese and Dave and Buster's are making it their mission to deposit gambling into these clueless children's bloodstreams.


Imagine Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems. Except 5 years old. That's what these businesses such as Chuck E Cheese and Dave and Buster's are promoting. They're turning these little children into monsters. That is fucking AWESOME.


A little 5 year old child is out there gambling his life away on a game of ski ball in an attempt to save up enough tickets for the outrageously expensive Xbox on the top shelf that we all know, he will simply never get.


This child will carry this misery and defeat around with him for many years. But one day he decides he doesn't want to have this feeling of failure following him anymore. In an attempt to get this achingly heavy weight off his shoulders, he will search for the similar satisfaction of getting the Xbox that got away.


It starts with the sports betting. This is a slippery slope. It starts with a little bet here and there, but then he becomes an addict. He makes some money, but he quickly lets it slip away by throwing parlays he thinks will hit big......they never do. This sends him plummeting even further towards rock bottom.


Next, he decides it's time to start hitting the casinos. After years of failure, misery, and debt building up at the old gambling den, he needs to find a way to cope.


He resorts to alcohol and pills.


The moral of the story is that Chuck E Cheese = Alcoholism.


P.S.- Gambling is Fun.


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