One of my favorite things to do in my free time is grade trades between teams in all different sports leagues. But, never have I ever graded a trade between countries. This is an exciting time! So lets grade the one-for-one trade between the USA and Russia that got our girl Britney Griner home!
For those who are unaware, back in February of 2022 Britney Griner was arrested on smuggling charges in Russia. She was just trying to bring in some vape cartridges that had some hash oil in them so she could get high when she wanted to on her vacation.....to Russia. She has been locked up over there ever since, even being put in a prisoner work camp.
I assume Russia only put her in one of these camps because they saw her as an asset, after all she has a 6'9 - 205 pound frame. They looked at her and didn't see a criminal, rather an athletic specimen that they could put to work and see an immediate impact. Her athletic ability should not be questioned, as she is an 8x WNBA All-Star, 2x scoring champion, and 8x blocks leader as well as a ton of other accolades.
Now contrary to popular belief, the WNBA is actually hard. So I'm sure she had to work her ass off to achieve all of this, therefore I'm sure she put up insane numbers in that labor camp. And if they had a basketball court in that camp, one could only pray for the Russians in there that we're getting dunked on.
(I do not know if she can dunk. I will assume probably not.) (I also can not dunk)
Let's talk about the other piece involved in this trade, the infamous arms dealer - Viktor Bout. I know this dude is an absolute piece of shit and should probably be dead, but the nickname "Merchant Of Death" is quite possibly as badass as it gets. I'd do anything if it meant being called something as cool as that for the rest of my life.
This guy is believed to have operated 40-60 aircrafts to run guns to different rebel groups in Afghanistan, multiple African countries, and he even delivered surface to air missiles to Kenya. So he should be considered a very dangerous human with many dangerous connections.
And the USA decided to trade him back to Russia, for WNBA Champion & All-Star Britney Griner.
This might be worse than when Bill O'Brien traded Deandre Hopkins to the Cardinals for a 2nd & 4th round pick plus a washed up running back.
Or worse than when the Brooklyn Nets traded a boatload of players and first round picks for a crippled Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Jason Terry.
The USA should have received some future picks in this trade. It's bound to happen where some stupid college kid goes to Russia and tears down a propaganda poster and gets imprisoned, we should have been promised free return of said college kid when this inevitably occurs. OR - maybe we could have also gotten US Marine Paul Whelan back who has been imprisoned for 4 years in Russia.
Obviously I don't think Britney Griner should have been imprisoned at all, and she should have been released immediately. But, at the end of the day the return for the US was way too little for what we gave up. Viktor Bout has a MUCH higher ceiling than Britney Griner, and is way too dangerous of a human to let roam free.
Final Trade Grades:
United States Of America: F, more specifically like a 7/100
Russia: A-, 91/100
We got fucked
Talk about a classic trade rape